In life, I’ve noticed that the harder it is for one to forgive, the easier to take offense.
This is because unforgiveness is rooted in self-preservation
This is ironic isn’t’ it?
Forgiveness requires a lot of understanding.
And in the heat of the moment, this isn’t very easy to achieve.
Below, I’ve compiled some myths about forgiveness. Dig in:
Myth 1: Most people who forgive easily find it easier overlooking offences.
This is because amongst some things, forgiving people short circuits your reaction time to offence both innate and animate.
Most people tell you that they’ve forgiven someone for a past hurt but deep within they have a kettle of hurt brewing with unresolved anger.
And sooner or later, this gets expressed with hurtful words or malice.
Myth 2: Forgiving easily will help you drop your glove even before it’s time for a home run.
This means overlooking an offence before it even becomes one.
And this doesn’t mean that with this resolve, it will be easy to overlook people’s actions.
But like grease in cookware, it prepares you for the burn that comes with the heat in the moment of offence.
Myth 3: Forgiving will make you look weak
Most times this isn’t the case at all.
Forgiving people that hurt you is actually invigorating when you realize you’re doing it for yourself.
But because nothing is emphasized more than self-preservation these days, most people are not prepared to take the chance.
Here’s an analogy:
When you don’t bathe you smell, right? And this makes you motivated to bath so you stay fresh and don’t smell bad.
But when you’ve been hurt, it’s like holding a bowl of cool refreshing water over your head and refusing to bath ourselves with it.
And no one wants to do that.
Most people will tell you that they will rather die than forgive anyone that hurt them.
It’s like eating sour lemons and expecting someone else’s teeth to be on edge.
Myth 4: Forgiveness is reconciliation
Every relationship doesn’t have to be mended. Most people think it should always be the purpose of forgiveness but this can’t always be the case.
Every act of forgiveness does not have to lead to reconciliation. And that’s okay!
If someone hurts you really deeply, and you feel that engaging with this person again will only increase your toxic levels, then it might be time to take your gloves and move on.
The Grand Necessity for Forgiveness
Forgiveness is an act of kindness to yourself primarily
One can think of many reasons why forgiveness is really necessary but I think this is the most important.
So you think of a reason you should forgive and you can’t think of one, remember this: it’s for your own sake.
Imagine pouring a glass of ice water on a day the sun is burning cinders and deciding not to drink it because someone’s watching, that’s what it should feel like when you withhold your forgiveness.
As humans, we may feel like that there are some people that don’t deserve your forgiveness, no matter what.
But this weight won’t feel empowering for very long.
For unforgiveness is like putting your hand in the fire and expecting some else to burn.
So drink your water, be happy, and forgive.
You’ll be glad you did!
