If I be no sabi Segun voice, e for hard for me to catch am. Haba! Him voice wey dey sound like I better pass my neighbour generator wey im life don kpafuka.
That evening wey the thing happen, I dey carry my nyash and leg dey waka go house. I be just wan go collect indomie on credit from Mummy Chidera place. That woman na correct gee. Na she dey make sure say God no shame us o.
As I navigate enter my street, I waka straight to mummy Chidera shop. I hear noise. No be small noise o. Na noise wey dey come from speakers. The person dey speak in scatterrobo tongue. I shake am for head and carry eye look dem direction.
People gather. Dem boku. I just know say na crusade. The man wey dey speak tongues just dey vibrate. Im go waka go front, come back, wipe heat comot im face, open im eye and grit im teeth like roasted goat.
“The Lord is here! He’s ready for miracles! Stretch your hands and receive your miracle!!” He go shout, flailing his hands like man wey dey free fall.
People dey stand. Him go touch dem. They go begin dey fall. I laugh one small laugh and waka go mummy Chidera place. These people and madness. Which kind film dem dey show me?.
When me reach there. Na Chidera I see. No be im mama. She see me com begin smile. She hug me. Begin dey talk plenty okotor meow meow. I touch her hair and cheek.
“You too bam, Chidera.” I tok and she begin smile again. This time she just dey chuk chuk my rib with her finger. So tey I begin laugh. I ask of im mama. She tok say the woman don japa to the crusade. Haba! How I wan forget? The woman na church freak. She sabi change church like peteri.
I take one bundle of vegetables and whisper into Chidera ear.
“Sure! Mummy says I should give you anything. That you don’t usually owe money.”
My mouth wide with laugh.
“Anything? She say make you give me anything?” I ask her.
She do head like agama.
“Ah” I lick my lip. “Oya gimme kiss na”
She just open hand dash me waka and run inside. As she dey bring the indomie, she dey cut eye gimme. I kuku collect the indomie and tap her back small. Later things.
I reach the crusade side. The pastor dey shout. “All eyes close, heads bow!”
People close their eyes. My own open wide. As I nor follow for the crusaders nko? I be wan see the miracle as e dey drop. The pastor shout again.
“All eyes close, heads bow!”
The next thing wey me see shock me. First, four people waka to the back of some women. Open their bags and drop something inside. I nor know wetin dem drop but I know say na another movie dem wan show us. Me clip the hunger wey dey disturb me and gallant dey watch.
I still dey watch them when someone push person for wheel chair go front. I nor see the person well. With my aproko mind I waka near the crusade ground. Stand for one adjacent wall like that dey peep.
“Open your eyes everybody! The Lord has done something in the life of four people.” the pastor declare.
People begin clap. Their clap sounding like thunder. I nor talk. I just dey observe. The man bounce go forward. As he reach the woman with small headtie. The woman wey her súkú hairstyle dey shoot out.
“Open your bag!” he shout.
The woman carry her bag. Tear am open and scream.
“Halleluyah! God don bless me o. See money inside my bag. The…” pastor collect word for her mouth.
“Praise thaaa Lordddd somebody!”
I jam my hands together. Three times. And continue watching. The pastor waka waka reach pulpit, turn round and enter tongues again. He perambulate straight to the guy wey dey wheel chair.
He touch the guy for head, for arm and final for leg. As he reach im leg. He stretch am. Drag am before he hala,
“Rise and walk in the name of Jesus! Young man!”
The guy hop. I see am waka small like pikin wey dey learn waka. I see him face. Guy! I sabi the guy. Abi my eyes dey play me magomago? Na him na. The agbero wey dey load bus for Alaba international. He still wear im cloth from yesterday. His scar dey visible.
I shock and swagger straight to the open space. As a doubting thomas, I wan sure say na segun I see. But as I dey near the stage. Naso segun begin shout.
“Praise thaaaa Lordddd!” his voices echo inside the microphone.
Naso I scream, “Segun!!!!”
Thousands of gazes turn to my side as me continue, “when you turn cripple, my guy?”
My first pidgin story. How was it? Oya rate am now.