I work and pray towards getting my car, but sometimes I must tell you, taking a bus is one of the most therapeutic exercises you can give to your brain.
Yesterday morning, I took a bus. This wasn’t just the ‘pick and drop’ kind of bus. But a bus that leaves the garage and only stops to drop passengers. Never to pick. As we eased out of the garage, with twenty-two passengers, each to their own vices. Either pressing their phones, listening to music, or moping out the window.
A man with broad shoulders sitting in the front row started shouting into his phone, warning his children with curses and threats. His beard needed grooming badly. And he was huge. I listened in while others displayed nonchalance.
Then, in a flash another man, tall, lanky, and seated from the same row stood and said,
“Good morning people of God!”
At that point, I wondered how he knew if everyone on the bus were people of God. Doesn’t he know that some of us are of satan?
“Good morning Brethren,” he tried again.
The sound of his seatmate’s voice rose to a crescendo with more profanity.
“The Lord is good!” he straightened his tie. My eyes took him in then, a crisp white tee shirt tucked into dark plain trousers. He looked the part, can he command the attention?
“All the time!” a couple of us replied.
Yes, he can.
“Oga, can’t you see I’m scolding my children? Why don’t you wait till I’m done to continue your stupid preaching, eh?” the voice came like thunder. Silence reigned for a moment as the supposed preacher collected himself,
“Sorry sir. I didn’t think I was disturbing you. Since you are done, I will like to continue.”
The man returned the phone to his ear and continued rambling. The preacher waited a minute and echoed another “Praise the lord!”
We were on the verge of answering when we heard it. A sound like that of smashing slippers on the wall. Then we saw it, The hand of the huge man resting on the cheeks of the preacher.
People gasped, others were already choosing words to hurl at him. I was waiting, patiently for the preacher’s reaction. And it came, in a different light from what I was expecting.
“In the name of Jesus,” he said, “I SLAP YOU BACK!” and landed a slap on the huge man.
I broke into a laugh when pandemonium took over the bus.
© Stephen Toochi
