Edited by: Rebecca Olagbende, MSc
Photos by: @EventsbyOshos
There is no one I know that hasn’t imagined their wedding night. Even those who have sex two days before their wedding do. The truth is, everyone is nervous and wants to get it right.
The obvious question is:
“How do you make your wedding night memorable, and at exactly nine months after, there is a bouncing baby boy or girl as a constant reminder?”
If you have also been thinking about these, kindly read till the end because I am here to help.
You have three options:
OPTION ONE – USE ‘KAYAMATA’!
Instagram is full of ‘kayamata’ vendors. They are pretty easy to find if they don’t see you first.
Their products include; Love & Attraction, Stingy boyfriend/man kit, Honey rush drink, cloud 9, pepper soup sweetener spice, No rival, libido booster Mik drink etc. I saw their list of services and ran in the opposite direction.
Like most men, if I find out that a woman used ‘kayamata’ on me, especially on our wedding night, I will rain fire and brimstone on her. Are you kidding me?
Who am I even advising? You are probably using it already, so it makes no difference. Just one question, please, aunty, is this how you will use ‘kayamata’ forever in your marriage?
There are chances that your husband isn’t looking for the ‘pornstar’ vibes on his wedding night. So, my dear ‘queen of ‘kayamata,’ you have just ‘shot’ and ‘missed’ on the most important day of your marriage.
OPTION TWO – DRUG HIM
Drugging him is usually an easy way out. Viagra should work just fine. Only that, it is an excellent idea if you are dumb!
Did you know that the side effects of using Viagra includes Nosebleeds, Headache, Back pain and Hypertension In the worst-case scenario, he will end up in the hospital, and you have to pray not to explain how he ended up in that state. If you are lucky, he won’t end up in the hospital but be assured that he would be a lot of work and beyond your control.
Either way, I guarantee he will not be interested in pleasing you. However, in those moments, make sure to picture me laughing at you and telling you, “I told you so!”
OPTION THREE: THE PERFECT WEDDING
I can’t say this enough. There is natural magic at weddings!
Scientifically, it is a fact that the magic at weddings triggers the release of oxytocin into the bloodstream of the couple and guests. That is why one begins to crave love at weddings.
Intelligent women have milked this to their advantage (even though they didn’t have the facts I just gave you). So now, you have the benefit of time to intelligently shape, craft, and manipulate this wedding magic to achieve your desire.
Listen, princess, everyone loves the seduction and romantic game (especially on their wedding night). The fever of being sensually and emotionally heightened naturally triggers the release of oxytocin.
The hours the wedding ceremony would take will make the oxytocin continue to increase in his body while you intelligently wield your weapon of seduction, making him even more eager to please.
Do you remember that groom who seemed too touchy or excited, grinning at the bride like a fool and giving her a naughty look?
Yup, that was oxytocin and seduction at work! As a bride, you must deliberately steer the ‘pot of romance’ with your first dance by slipping small notes into his pocket, caressing, tickling, and whispering. Altogether Cinderella, get creative!
I promise you that by the time you get to the car, you’ll have a taste of Beyonce’s inspiration for the song “PARTITION.” Now, isn’t that going to be something to remember?
The ball is in your court!
Which will it be? Use ‘kayamata,’ drug him or use the perfect wedding? The only option I recommend (because it is tested and trusted) is ‘the perfect wedding’; I know how the magic works! As for the other two, count me out (especially when you land him in the hospital).
If you want to join our ‘fairytale academy’ that explores the magic of the perfect wedding, you need to click the quiz button below, and boom! Mission perfect wedding will be activated for free.
Yet to click? Don’t tell me you still want to use drugs or ‘kayamata’ on him!
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Email: hellooohurrah@gmail.com
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The Facebook page contains answers to questions people ask me regularly and tips that would guide you in preparation.
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