My nephew had a difficult time learning how to walk. For some reason, he was still crawling at 14 months. My brother and his wife were really worried that his mates were already walking and he wasn’t. I remember talking to my friend and he said that his mum insisted on not celebrating his brother’s first birthday cause he wasn’t already walking at the time, insisting that she would only celebrate his birthday when he finally decides to start walking.
There’s a shame society thrusts on you when you for any reason are left behind by your mates. Whether it’s you being left behind in school whilst your mates are graduating or it’s your mates getting married and having kids whilst you’re still single, society never lets us forget that we are not where we are supposed to be.
In December when my friends were called to the bar and I wasn’t, I felt terrible. It was partly because people around me never let down any opportunity to remind me that “I wasn’t where my mates were”. Never mind that by December of 2022, I had a really good paying job, I had achieved my savings target, and I had finished 2 online courses but all these didn’t matter.
Looking back on last year, I wish I had been kinder to myself, that I had taken pride in my own accomplishments, in all I achieved regardless of what those around me thought.
This is one thing I’ve decided to do this year. I’ll run at my own pace. Not pandering to people’s sensibilities. Cause when the chips are down, no one else knows how much I put in, how much blood and sweat I shed to produce the results they see.
So, as this year progresses, I’ve made a pact with myself to be kinder to myself. To be proud of the little victories, to celebrate my wins. Because as you would say, “if you can’t love yourself, how the hell would you love someone else”?
©Victor Olisa
