The whole notion of Marriage as an achievement has always sounded ridiculous to me. Don’t get me wrong; I do believe marriage to be a source of joy and great comfort, but why do we teach young people to aspire to marriage? It’s true finding love can seem like such a Herculean task, but why do we diminish other accomplishments simply because the person is unmarried.
From a very young age, girls are told how to behave or not behave should they hope to secure a good man. We look at unmarried women as not have achieved anything regardless of whether she’s a Ph.D. holder or a rocket scientist. Throw in the whole “Eve being made for Adam” and “a woman being meant to be under a man” argument into the mix and voila! You have yourself the everyday life of the unmarried average Nigerian.
The problem is, most don’t prepare young people for marriage. They don’t teach them to be accepting, to be open minded, to always take the other person’s feelings and opinions into consideration. They teach them rather to pretend. To pretend to love, to pretend when they’re in pain, to pretend for “peace to reign”. They forget to tell them that marriage is a sacred bond.
A lot of young people find themselves in very unhappy marriages because they were rushed into marriage. Because we’ve been taught that all your accomplishments mean nothing till you have a marriage certificate. Whether it is a happy marriage or not, no one cares.