I never liked Amaka. She always had a thing for the dramatic. Always loud; she never knew when to keep her mouth close. She had the worst ideologies; she believes it’s the sole responsibility of the man to provide for the family, the wife needn’t contribute anything financially. Very old school; I know. But despite agreeing on almost nothing, just one thing so far do I and Amaka agree on; Children should be taught sex education as soon as possible.
My younger brother’s thinking of getting a girlfriend. He says he’s finally ready to have sex. When he came to me to enquire how to go about it, I wasn’t shocked or surprised; I was happy for him. Not because he’s about to have sex, which I think is highly overrated by the way, but because he first sought counsel on something he knew nothing of. I told him that the first thing one needs to know when he or she decides that they are ready is considering a third option. They need to know that they can choose not to have sex and wait till after marriage which we who were brought up in church have been taught, they too need to know of the options available to them should they decide to go on with it.
A lot of young people do not understand how contraceptives work or what they are to begin with. The first step to take towards reduction of teen, premarital pregnancy and other sex related issues is sex education, preferably from a tender age. The problem is that most times we are told to abstain from sex but what happens when one can abstain no more? What happens when two people who feel the only way to express their love for each other is to have sex? What of when two people just for no reason than the strong urge at that time decide to have sex. What happens then?
Young people should be taught how to better equip themselves; to take responsibilities of their safety. Young girls should be taught to put their safety first because even though it takes two to make a baby, the fact remains that nature punishes women more. Young boys need to be taught “restraint” but most importantly, “respect”; respect for the woman and respect for the word “No”. Boys need to be taught to stop once the other person becomes uncomfortable; to stop ones it starts becoming “not fun” for the person on the receiving end.
When society refuses to talk about sex, young people learn about it from pornography, young men learn to disrespect the women, to spit on them, to treat them like they don’t matter. Young men are taught that the only proof of the female orgasm is to be squirting which in my opinion is ridiculous. Recently, a doctor made a post on Twitter on how “Squirts” are basically “Urine” stored up in the female bladder finding release during sex and people went nuts because they have over time come to believe it to be a sign of female ejaculation, which it is in a way, a proof of female orgasm but in its entirety, not. When we deny kids sex education, we open then up to whoever or whatever is available to them. We open them up to friends, movies, porn and they learn what sex should not be as what it is.
Young people should be taught sex then given the liberty to decide what they would do with that information. Parents should teach about contraceptives, about the right to choose, about the ability to raise a child as an only parent with stigmatization. Young people, kids included, should be taught that sex is not sacred, it is not a taboo. It is not a gift you give to your spouse as we’ve always been taught, it is something you decide to or not to do and that whichever decision one takes, is valid.
Terry is one of our regular ghost writer and the chief writer of the column, ROAYFG (Rantings of a Yellow Fat Guy) in Dav-Oz Blog.